Oct 7, 2005
Five Funny Principles Of Marketing
1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, "I'm fantastic in bed." That's Direct Marketing.
2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says, "He's fantastic in bed." That's Advertising.
3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed." That's Telemarketing.
4. You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink. You open the door for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her a ride, and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed." That's Public Relations.
5. You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says, "I hear you're fantastic in bed." That's Brand Recognition.
2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says, "He's fantastic in bed." That's Advertising.
3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed." That's Telemarketing.
4. You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink. You open the door for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her a ride, and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed." That's Public Relations.
5. You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says, "I hear you're fantastic in bed." That's Brand Recognition.
Oct 6, 2005
Sep 27, 2005
Sep 26, 2005
The Grand List Of Console Role Playing Game Clichés:
some of my faves:
14. Garrett's Principle: Let's not mince words: you're a thief. You can walk into just about anybody's house like the door wasn't even locked. You just barge right in and start looking for stuff. Anything you can find that's not nailed down is yours to keep. You will often walk into perfect strangers' houses, lift their precious artifacts, and then chat with them like you were old neighbors as you head back out with their family heirlooms under your arm. Unfortunately, this never works in stores.
56. Zeigfried's Contradiction: Just because someone is weird doesn't mean they're important.
63. Principle of Narrative Efficiency: If the main villain (or the enemy you've been trying to kill for most of the game before he summons the real final villain) was ever defeated in the past by another group of adventurers, one of them will secretly be in your party and one of them will be the hero's father.
74. If You Meet The Buddha In A Random Encounter, Kill Him!: When you're out wandering around the world, you must kill everything you meet. People, animals, plants, insects, fire hydrants, small cottages, anything and everything is just plain out to get you. It may be because of your rampant kleptomania (see Garrett's Principle.)
107. Arbor Day Rule: At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says.
see the rest here.
some of my faves:
14. Garrett's Principle: Let's not mince words: you're a thief. You can walk into just about anybody's house like the door wasn't even locked. You just barge right in and start looking for stuff. Anything you can find that's not nailed down is yours to keep. You will often walk into perfect strangers' houses, lift their precious artifacts, and then chat with them like you were old neighbors as you head back out with their family heirlooms under your arm. Unfortunately, this never works in stores.
56. Zeigfried's Contradiction: Just because someone is weird doesn't mean they're important.
63. Principle of Narrative Efficiency: If the main villain (or the enemy you've been trying to kill for most of the game before he summons the real final villain) was ever defeated in the past by another group of adventurers, one of them will secretly be in your party and one of them will be the hero's father.
74. If You Meet The Buddha In A Random Encounter, Kill Him!: When you're out wandering around the world, you must kill everything you meet. People, animals, plants, insects, fire hydrants, small cottages, anything and everything is just plain out to get you. It may be because of your rampant kleptomania (see Garrett's Principle.)
107. Arbor Day Rule: At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says.
see the rest here.
RPS 15! - ROCK POUNDS OUT FIRE, CRUSHES SCISSORS, SNAKE, HUMAN, WOLF, SPONGE, BLOCKS (GROWTH OF) TREE. And so on.
Sep 20, 2005
Apparently we have Porn Squard now. From the WP: Recruits Sought for Porn Squad
My fave quote:
"I guess this means we've won the war on terror," said one exasperated FBI agent, speaking on the condition of anonymity because poking fun at headquarters is not regarded as career-enhancing. "We must not need any more resources for espionage."
My fave quote:
"I guess this means we've won the war on terror," said one exasperated FBI agent, speaking on the condition of anonymity because poking fun at headquarters is not regarded as career-enhancing. "We must not need any more resources for espionage."
Sep 19, 2005
IMDB: In pirate mode today:"We're not breaking out of Jamba Juice, gentlemen" - best quote from tonight's Prison Break. A Prison Break LiveBlog might be in the works.
My friend Alan can't talk like a pirate. Instead he sounds like a leprechaun.
From my cousin Tiff:
Sep 18, 2005
Sep 17, 2005
Scent Stories - Apparently it's like a CD player for your nose. I don't really understand - why stories? Is there some plot that I don't get?
Sep 16, 2005
A friend just sent this to me; it's probably one of my favorite TV quotes of all time:
"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move
as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the
slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first This
natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general
speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular
killing of the weakest members.
In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the
slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills
brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain
cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the
weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient
machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."
"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move
as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the
slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first This
natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general
speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular
killing of the weakest members.
In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the
slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills
brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain
cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the
weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient
machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."
Sep 10, 2005
When Bush arrived in Biloxi, Miss. on September 2nd, he made a deeply felt speech in response to the devastation he witnessed and the stories he heard:
"Out of the rubbles of Trent Lott's house -- he's lost his entire house -- there's going to be a fantastic house. And I'm looking forward to sitting on the porch," he said, referring to the former Senate majority leader who lost his 154-year-old family home in Pascagoula, Miss.
I want to sit on Trent Lott's Porch
"Out of the rubbles of Trent Lott's house -- he's lost his entire house -- there's going to be a fantastic house. And I'm looking forward to sitting on the porch," he said, referring to the former Senate majority leader who lost his 154-year-old family home in Pascagoula, Miss.
I want to sit on Trent Lott's Porch
Sep 7, 2005
"Welcome to Heaven! Enjoy the Beer Volcano and Stripper Factory!"
-Flying Spaghetti Monsterism - The Game
-Flying Spaghetti Monsterism - The Game
Sep 1, 2005
The answer is "yes, I am as tired as I sounded in that last post". I was looking for something on newgrounds and found this instead:
X-Men: Death Becomes Them
X-Men: Death Becomes Them
Aug 30, 2005
Aug 28, 2005
One more down -
On Feb 12th, I put up a list of tv shows I'd love to see on DVD. So far, they've released Lois and Clark and Scrubs, and I get another on Tuesday!
Mind of the Married Man Season 1
On Feb 12th, I put up a list of tv shows I'd love to see on DVD. So far, they've released Lois and Clark and Scrubs, and I get another on Tuesday!
Mind of the Married Man Season 1
Aug 27, 2005
You've probably already seen this, and I don't think tis the tko, that others are calling it:
Hitchens vs Stewart (that Jon guy) - From Crooks and Liars
also, does anyone remember seeing it when it aired? I could have swore Stewart put Hitchens in his place once with a line like "btw this is my audience" - but it does not seem to be here in this video. Could it have been edited, or was I jsut really tired when it was on originally?
Hitchens vs Stewart (that Jon guy) - From Crooks and Liars
also, does anyone remember seeing it when it aired? I could have swore Stewart put Hitchens in his place once with a line like "btw this is my audience" - but it does not seem to be here in this video. Could it have been edited, or was I jsut really tired when it was on originally?
Aug 24, 2005
Aug 23, 2005
Open Letter to the Big Guy
Hi God,
It's me, Dwain. I know I don't write as often as I should, but there is this crazy guy, and he totally thinks he has your number on speed dial. Can you let him know whats up? I'm not asking for anything hardcore, like an assassination of a foreign leader or mysterious and sudden deaths of Supreme Court justices, just a little common sense for one misguided dude who happens to have his own tv show. Thanks!
Robertson Calls for Chavez Assassination:
Pat Robertson, the television evangelist and Christian Coalition founder, has set off a diplomatic fracas with Venezuela by calling for the assassination of its populist president, Hugo Chavez.
"We have the ability to take him out, and I think the time has come that we exercise that ability," Robertson said Monday on his Christian Broadcasting Network. "We don't need another $200 billion war to get rid of one, you know, strong-arm dictator. It's a whole lot easier to have some of the covert operatives do the job and then get it over with."
See link above for the whole freaking story.
Hi God,
It's me, Dwain. I know I don't write as often as I should, but there is this crazy guy, and he totally thinks he has your number on speed dial. Can you let him know whats up? I'm not asking for anything hardcore, like an assassination of a foreign leader or mysterious and sudden deaths of Supreme Court justices, just a little common sense for one misguided dude who happens to have his own tv show. Thanks!
Robertson Calls for Chavez Assassination:
Pat Robertson, the television evangelist and Christian Coalition founder, has set off a diplomatic fracas with Venezuela by calling for the assassination of its populist president, Hugo Chavez.
"We have the ability to take him out, and I think the time has come that we exercise that ability," Robertson said Monday on his Christian Broadcasting Network. "We don't need another $200 billion war to get rid of one, you know, strong-arm dictator. It's a whole lot easier to have some of the covert operatives do the job and then get it over with."
See link above for the whole freaking story.
Aug 20, 2005
Damn! I didn't blog yesterday, breaking my streak of a whopping five days! Don't expect anything else out of me today or tommorrow either, because it's Pirate Party time! Woohoo! That's right, the big bad Pirate Night 3: Pirate Night With A Vengeance is here! Look for some crazy pictures from the night up here or on ahoy-matey.com in the next few days. Arrrrrrrrr!
Aug 18, 2005
Ikea Walkthrough
This is funny, but probably only if you are into both video games and swedish furniture.
This is funny, but probably only if you are into both video games and swedish furniture.
Aug 17, 2005
I think I've seen this before, but it is still pretty funny:
The Urban Ninja
(note: this site does not actually support ninjaism. In fact, we believe that it is an unnatural abomination, and should be snuffed out of existence. But watch the video anyway.)
The Urban Ninja
(note: this site does not actually support ninjaism. In fact, we believe that it is an unnatural abomination, and should be snuffed out of existence. But watch the video anyway.)
Aug 16, 2005
You thought it would never come back (maybe you even hoped that), but after two long months, here it is - the return of Cap'n Jibidy!
Issue 41: Hook, Lines, and a Stinker - only at www.ahoy-matey.com
Issue 41: Hook, Lines, and a Stinker - only at www.ahoy-matey.com
Hopefully this isn't a reflection on the state I live in...
$50 laptop sale sets off violent stampede - People trampled, beaten with folding chair as 'total chaos' takes over
$50 laptop sale sets off violent stampede - People trampled, beaten with folding chair as 'total chaos' takes over
Aug 15, 2005
My new favorite site.
I'd post a extract, but I don't want to give anything away.
http://www.venganza.org/
I'd post a extract, but I don't want to give anything away.
http://www.venganza.org/
Aug 14, 2005
Brickfest 2005
I actually just happened to to catch a blurb about this in Thursday's Express and was like "holy crap, there a freakin' lego convention down the street from my house!" I of course had to go. I posted about 75 pics on ahoy-matey.com here:
http://www.ahoy-matey.com/brickfest2005.htm
Here's their official site:
http://www.brickfest.com/
Awesome (and more than a little wierd). Apparently it is in DC every year, so who knows, maybe Jibidy will show up there next year!
I actually just happened to to catch a blurb about this in Thursday's Express and was like "holy crap, there a freakin' lego convention down the street from my house!" I of course had to go. I posted about 75 pics on ahoy-matey.com here:
http://www.ahoy-matey.com/brickfest2005.htm
Here's their official site:
http://www.brickfest.com/
Awesome (and more than a little wierd). Apparently it is in DC every year, so who knows, maybe Jibidy will show up there next year!
Jul 11, 2005
It's time for what has become my weekly update to this blog as I can't seem to get around to posting more often than that.
I heard a radio commercial for Tucker Carlson's new show "The Situation". The commercial claims the show to inform, entertain, and for some reason, improve your dating life. I can see the last two, but inform, Tucker, honestly?
New editions to the comics library:
-Lucifer Vol 8: One interesting way to tell the story of Ragnorok
-Thor: Disassembled: Another Ragnorok story. Also good.
-PvP: The Dork Ages: I can't believe I've waited this long to buy this, but a great independent comic strip.
-She-Hulk Vol 2: Worth the price of admission for the Howard the Duck cameo.
-Ultra: Seven Days: Post-modern comics meets sex in the city. Neat little book, beautifully designed. Looking forward to the Luna bros. next outing.
I saw Fantastic Four yesterday, and I gotta say I enjoyed the movie a lot. I went in with low expectations and determination to enjoy the film, and came out at the very least whelmed (I know you can be overwhelmed, and that you can be underwhelmed, but can you just be whelmed. I think you can in Europe. Major geek points for the first to id that quote) The movie was intimate and cut to the core of the FF: here's a semi-dysfunctional family trying to get by in world complicated by superpowers and celebrity.
Via Wonkette via the NY Post: Ex Con and general whackjob G. Gordon Liddy: "If a man wants to cheat [on his wife], I would give him the same advice I would give a man who was tempted to try heroin. Don't do it. It is addictive."
Live8 concert performances to download at Sonician
-A new Jibidy is in the works, it's been written, will be shot and hopefully up on A-M.co sometime this week. And get this, it'll close out the current "Ninja Fight" arc and actually get Jibidy and Co. back on the hunt for Scurvy Steve's birth parents. I'm also working on the the next chapter of Dayspring, though honestly, it is still a couple weeks out.
More to maybe come later...
I heard a radio commercial for Tucker Carlson's new show "The Situation". The commercial claims the show to inform, entertain, and for some reason, improve your dating life. I can see the last two, but inform, Tucker, honestly?
New editions to the comics library:
-Lucifer Vol 8: One interesting way to tell the story of Ragnorok
-Thor: Disassembled: Another Ragnorok story. Also good.
-PvP: The Dork Ages: I can't believe I've waited this long to buy this, but a great independent comic strip.
-She-Hulk Vol 2: Worth the price of admission for the Howard the Duck cameo.
-Ultra: Seven Days: Post-modern comics meets sex in the city. Neat little book, beautifully designed. Looking forward to the Luna bros. next outing.
I saw Fantastic Four yesterday, and I gotta say I enjoyed the movie a lot. I went in with low expectations and determination to enjoy the film, and came out at the very least whelmed (I know you can be overwhelmed, and that you can be underwhelmed, but can you just be whelmed. I think you can in Europe. Major geek points for the first to id that quote) The movie was intimate and cut to the core of the FF: here's a semi-dysfunctional family trying to get by in world complicated by superpowers and celebrity.
Via Wonkette via the NY Post: Ex Con and general whackjob G. Gordon Liddy: "If a man wants to cheat [on his wife], I would give him the same advice I would give a man who was tempted to try heroin. Don't do it. It is addictive."
Live8 concert performances to download at Sonician
-A new Jibidy is in the works, it's been written, will be shot and hopefully up on A-M.co sometime this week. And get this, it'll close out the current "Ninja Fight" arc and actually get Jibidy and Co. back on the hunt for Scurvy Steve's birth parents. I'm also working on the the next chapter of Dayspring, though honestly, it is still a couple weeks out.
More to maybe come later...
Jul 4, 2005
Jul 3, 2005
AFI recently honored the 100 greatest movie quotes. You can see it here. I'd like to honor some that didn't make the list:
"I swear to God I'll pistol whip the next person who says shenanigans!" - Supertroopers
"We are the knights who saw Ni!" - Monty Python and the Holy Grail
"My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die." The Princess Bride
"Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul." Billy Madison
More to come!
"I swear to God I'll pistol whip the next person who says shenanigans!" - Supertroopers
"We are the knights who saw Ni!" - Monty Python and the Holy Grail
"My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die." The Princess Bride
"Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul." Billy Madison
More to come!
Jun 20, 2005
Jun 16, 2005
Law of Conservation of Hanging Things
I finally got my Bone poster up on my wall:
And within 12 hours, the Pirates poster came down off the wall in mysterious circumstances:
The only possible explanation ins that the AC repair people had to take it down when they were working the other day, even though the AC unit is nowhere close to where the poster was. Intriguing...
I finally got my Bone poster up on my wall:
And within 12 hours, the Pirates poster came down off the wall in mysterious circumstances:
The only possible explanation ins that the AC repair people had to take it down when they were working the other day, even though the AC unit is nowhere close to where the poster was. Intriguing...
Jun 14, 2005
Jun 12, 2005
There's a new issue of Captain Jibidy up on ahoy-matey.com. I know I've been really bad at getting them done lately, and I apologize. Actually, I take that back. I'm not sorry at all! (Ok maybe a little, I'm trying to get back on a regular schedule)
Jun 7, 2005
Jun 5, 2005
Jun 3, 2005
Is your child a Goth? (Hilarious)
Presented by First Baptist Church
Listed below are some warning signs to indicate if your child may have gone astray from the Lord. Gothic (or goth) is a very obscure and often dangerous culture that young teenagers are prone to participating in, like those killers at Columbine. The gothic culture leads young, susceptible minds into an imagined world of evil, darkness, and violence. Please seek immediate attention through counselling, prayer, and parental guidance to rid your child of Satan's temptations if five or more of the following are applicable to your child.
-Frequently wears black clothing.
-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.
-Wears excessive black eye makeup,lipstick or nail polish.
-Wears any odd silver jewelry or symbols.
-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.
-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)
-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.
-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports.
-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult, witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.
-Takes drugs.
-Drinks alcohol.
-Is suicidal and/or depressed.
-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation.(This is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health center.)
-Complains of boredom.
-Sleeps too excessively or too little.
-Is excessively awake during the night.
-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.
-Spends large amounts of time alone.
-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your chid may speak to evil sprits through meditation.)
-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.user posted image
-Disregards authority figures; teachers, pastors, clergy and elders are but a few examples of this.user posted image
-Misbehaves at school.
-Misbehaves at home.
-Eats excessively or too little
-Eats goth-related foods. Count Chocula cereal is an example of this.
-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and should be stopped immediately.)
-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)
-Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature.
-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.
-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.
-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.
-Expresses an interest in sex.
-Masturbates.
-Is homosexual and/or bisexual.
-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism,
Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.
-Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various phrases: "I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "I'm a goth".
-Claims to be a goth.
If five or more of these apply to your child, please intervene immediately. The gothic culture is dangerous and Satan thrives within it. If any of these problems persist, enlist your child into your local mental health center.
~First Baptist Church
Presented by First Baptist Church
Listed below are some warning signs to indicate if your child may have gone astray from the Lord. Gothic (or goth) is a very obscure and often dangerous culture that young teenagers are prone to participating in, like those killers at Columbine. The gothic culture leads young, susceptible minds into an imagined world of evil, darkness, and violence. Please seek immediate attention through counselling, prayer, and parental guidance to rid your child of Satan's temptations if five or more of the following are applicable to your child.
-Frequently wears black clothing.
-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.
-Wears excessive black eye makeup,lipstick or nail polish.
-Wears any odd silver jewelry or symbols.
-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.
-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)
-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.
-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports.
-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult, witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.
-Takes drugs.
-Drinks alcohol.
-Is suicidal and/or depressed.
-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation.(This is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health center.)
-Complains of boredom.
-Sleeps too excessively or too little.
-Is excessively awake during the night.
-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.
-Spends large amounts of time alone.
-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your chid may speak to evil sprits through meditation.)
-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.user posted image
-Disregards authority figures; teachers, pastors, clergy and elders are but a few examples of this.user posted image
-Misbehaves at school.
-Misbehaves at home.
-Eats excessively or too little
-Eats goth-related foods. Count Chocula cereal is an example of this.
-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and should be stopped immediately.)
-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)
-Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature.
-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.
-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.
-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.
-Expresses an interest in sex.
-Masturbates.
-Is homosexual and/or bisexual.
-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism,
Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.
-Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various phrases: "I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "I'm a goth".
-Claims to be a goth.
If five or more of these apply to your child, please intervene immediately. The gothic culture is dangerous and Satan thrives within it. If any of these problems persist, enlist your child into your local mental health center.
~First Baptist Church
.
Holy Crap, it's summer!
Here's a neat little story 'bout the alma mater:
University's property holdings not just classrooms and dorms
Here's a neat little story 'bout the alma mater:
University's property holdings not just classrooms and dorms
May 31, 2005
Ten Most Harmful Books of the 19th and 20th Centuries
-What, no Heart of Darkness or Babysitter's Club?
-What, no Heart of Darkness or Babysitter's Club?
May 30, 2005
How did I miss this?
Lion Mutilates 42 Midgets in Cambodian Ring-Fight
Note: I know it isn't true, but still a great story!
Lion Mutilates 42 Midgets in Cambodian Ring-Fight
Note: I know it isn't true, but still a great story!
May 29, 2005
May 19, 2005
More on Frank Gorshin:
Great send off to a great actor tonight as Frank played a truly creepy character on the Tarantino-directed CSI finale. I imagine it was his last performance, and it's always very wierd when a actor dies the same day a character of his does as well (as my mom pointed out - like that midget from Passions).
My friend Mike has a nice little tribute to the Riddler on his blog here. Please, ask him about the Frank Gorshin sexual move. The answer is worth it.
Great send off to a great actor tonight as Frank played a truly creepy character on the Tarantino-directed CSI finale. I imagine it was his last performance, and it's always very wierd when a actor dies the same day a character of his does as well (as my mom pointed out - like that midget from Passions).
My friend Mike has a nice little tribute to the Riddler on his blog here. Please, ask him about the Frank Gorshin sexual move. The answer is worth it.
May 15, 2005
May 14, 2005
May 13, 2005
CNN's getting rid of the idiots on Crossfire for THREE MORE #@$%! HOURS OF WOLF BLITZER EVERY DAY!? Here, here to cable news' most self-important, sensationalistic furball (had to add the furball part to disqualify O'Reilly). It's a wonder MSNBC isn't beating these guys all over the place.
Blitzer to host 'wide open' CNN stretch
NEW YORK (Hollywood Reporter) - CNN will debut a three-hour, late-afternoon show hosted by Wolf Blitzer that will replace "Crossfire" and "Inside Politics" sometime this summer.
Details have yet to be worked out, but Jon Klein, president of CNN/US, said Tuesday that it would showcase the network's reporting and analytical assets with a special focus on breaking news.
"It will offer a new and enticing way to look at the world for busy people," Klein said. (Rest of Sad story here.)
Blitzer to host 'wide open' CNN stretch
NEW YORK (Hollywood Reporter) - CNN will debut a three-hour, late-afternoon show hosted by Wolf Blitzer that will replace "Crossfire" and "Inside Politics" sometime this summer.
Details have yet to be worked out, but Jon Klein, president of CNN/US, said Tuesday that it would showcase the network's reporting and analytical assets with a special focus on breaking news.
"It will offer a new and enticing way to look at the world for busy people," Klein said. (Rest of Sad story here.)
May 10, 2005
Do you want to see a Batman movie done in Lego? You're reading my blog, so I'm sure the answer is yes! Plus, it's starring Adam West!
Batman: New Times
Batman: New Times
May 9, 2005
I learned a new word today:
ten·den·tious also ten·den·cious ( P ) Pronunciation Key (tn-dnshs)
adj.
Marked by a strong implicit point of view; partisan: a tendentious account of the recent elections.
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[From Medieval Latin tendentia, a cause. See tendency.]
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ten·dentious·ly adv.
ten·dentious·ness n.
ten·den·tious also ten·den·cious ( P ) Pronunciation Key (tn-dnshs)
adj.
Marked by a strong implicit point of view; partisan: a tendentious account of the recent elections.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[From Medieval Latin tendentia, a cause. See tendency.]
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ten·dentious·ly adv.
ten·dentious·ness n.
May 7, 2005
May 2, 2005
Apr 30, 2005
Apr 29, 2005
My parents just got home from dinner, and there was a message waiting for them on the answering machine:
"Um, hi. This is so-and-so down the street. We wanted to let you know that your pet bunny is in our back yard. She's playing with our Golden Retriever and I don't think we've had this much fun in a long time!"
Lilly Belle (or Glen depending on which gender you are these days) you rule!
"Um, hi. This is so-and-so down the street. We wanted to let you know that your pet bunny is in our back yard. She's playing with our Golden Retriever and I don't think we've had this much fun in a long time!"
Lilly Belle (or Glen depending on which gender you are these days) you rule!
Apr 28, 2005
Apr 18, 2005
Apr 16, 2005
- Have you ever wanted to fight a brontosaurus, or be best friends with a stegosaurus?
Time travel can help you do that.
- Have you ever wished you had been Wal-Mart's 1,000th customer, and received a complimentary bag of shoes?
Time travel can help you do that.
- Have you ever longed to visit ancient eras, to meet Catherine the Great, or Rumplestiltzkin, or even the aliens who lived in the pyramids?
Time travel can help you do that.
Online Time Travel Pharmacy
Time travel can help you do that.
- Have you ever wished you had been Wal-Mart's 1,000th customer, and received a complimentary bag of shoes?
Time travel can help you do that.
- Have you ever longed to visit ancient eras, to meet Catherine the Great, or Rumplestiltzkin, or even the aliens who lived in the pyramids?
Time travel can help you do that.
Online Time Travel Pharmacy
Apr 14, 2005
Too good to be true - but it is true!
Here are some of the eligibility requirements for the new WWE Raw Diva Search:
"ELIGIBILITY. To enter and participate in the Search, applicants must satisfy each of the following eligibility requirements: A. Applicants must have been born female and must be legal residents of the 48 contiguous United States (excludes Alaska and Hawaii) or the District of Columbia."
That's right you hot little trannys (especially Alaskan and Hawaiian ones) you aren't cut out for being a wwe divas (despite what you might have had cut off) Would they do a quick check for a prostate if they weren't sure? Interesting.
Here are some of the eligibility requirements for the new WWE Raw Diva Search:
"ELIGIBILITY. To enter and participate in the Search, applicants must satisfy each of the following eligibility requirements: A. Applicants must have been born female and must be legal residents of the 48 contiguous United States (excludes Alaska and Hawaii) or the District of Columbia."
That's right you hot little trannys (especially Alaskan and Hawaiian ones) you aren't cut out for being a wwe divas (despite what you might have had cut off) Would they do a quick check for a prostate if they weren't sure? Interesting.
I love the fact that we finally live in a world where 24, alias, and lost are automatic renewals and stale sitcoms liek will and grace might be getting cancelled - what's gonna be back next season ands what might not be.
Apr 9, 2005
Great song lyrics of the day:
"Now I've been lazy most all my life writin' songs and sleepin' late
And any manual labor I've done was purely by mistake
If street sweepers can smile then I've got no right to feel upset
But sometimes I still forget
'Til the lights go on and the stage is set
And the song hits home and you feel that sweat"
- from Mac McAnally's "It's My Job"
"Now I've been lazy most all my life writin' songs and sleepin' late
And any manual labor I've done was purely by mistake
If street sweepers can smile then I've got no right to feel upset
But sometimes I still forget
'Til the lights go on and the stage is set
And the song hits home and you feel that sweat"
- from Mac McAnally's "It's My Job"
HFS may be gone, but HFStival is still going to happen this year (its just moving to Baltimore, away from the trainwreck of a baseball field called RFK Stadium) Here is the main stage lineup:
Billy Idol
Sum 41
Social Distortion
Garbage
Foo Fighters
Good Charlotte
Coldplay
The Bravery
Citizen Cope
Jimmies Chicken Shack
New York Dolls
Unwritten Law
They Might Be Giants
Louis XIV
Echo and the Bunnymen
Interpol
The Stereophonics
Pepper
I'll be there if it was JUST Billy Idol.
Billy Idol
Sum 41
Social Distortion
Garbage
Foo Fighters
Good Charlotte
Coldplay
The Bravery
Citizen Cope
Jimmies Chicken Shack
New York Dolls
Unwritten Law
They Might Be Giants
Louis XIV
Echo and the Bunnymen
Interpol
The Stereophonics
Pepper
I'll be there if it was JUST Billy Idol.
Apr 4, 2005
Quick 24 blasts
- I don't think stealth bombers can shoot missiles at other planes, the drop things onto the ground, hence the bomber part of the name.
- It really isn't much of a perimeter if the bad guy can walk out onto the street, get in a sketchy looking van and drive away.
- Jack hasn't been burned enough by evil women, to just assume that all women with guns are probably terrorists at worse, evil mercenaries at best?
- I don't think stealth bombers can shoot missiles at other planes, the drop things onto the ground, hence the bomber part of the name.
- It really isn't much of a perimeter if the bad guy can walk out onto the street, get in a sketchy looking van and drive away.
- Jack hasn't been burned enough by evil women, to just assume that all women with guns are probably terrorists at worse, evil mercenaries at best?
Apr 3, 2005
Among 'big story' deaths this past week like Pope John Paul, Terry Schiavo, hell even Frank Purdue and Jonny Cochran, American lost one of its best comedians:
Mitch Hedberg dead at 37
Some of my favorite Mitchisms:
"I bought a doughnut and they gave me a receipt for the doughnut. I don't need a receipt for the doughnut - I'll just give you money and you give me the doughnut. End of transaction. We don't need to bring ink and paper into this. I can't imagine a scenario in which I would need to prove that I bought a doughnut. Some skeptical friend... don’t even act like I didn't buy a doughnut, I've got the documentation right here. Oh wait, it's back home in the file... under "D", for doughnut."
"I rent a lot of cars, y'know, cuz I go on the road. I rent cars. And when I drive a rental car I don't know what's going on with it, right? So a lot of time I drive, like, for 10 miles with the emergency brake on. That doesn't say a lot for me, but it really doesn't say a lot for the emergency brake. It's really not an emergency brake, it's an emergency make-the-car-smell-funny lever."
"I don't have a girlfriend. I just know this lady who'd be really mad if she heard me say that."
"You know when they have a fishing show on TV? They catch the fish and then let it go. They don't want to eat the fish; they just want to make it late for something."
"I want to be a race car passenger; just a guy who bugs the driver. "Say man, can I turn on the radio? You should slow down. Why do we gotta keep going in circles? Man, you really like Tide ..."
"I think Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem. It's not the photographer's fault. Bigfoot is blurry. And that's extra scary to me, because there's a large, out-of-focus monster roaming the countryside. Run. He's fuzzy. Get outta here."
"I played golf. I'm not good at golf, I never got good at it, I never got a hole in one ... but I did hit a guy. And that's way more satisfying.... You're supposed to yell 'fore,' but I was way too busy mumbling, "There ain't no way that's gonna hit him."
"A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer."
"I order a club sandwich all the time. And I'm not even a member, I don't know how I get away with it. I like my sandwiches with three peices of bread. So do I. Lets form a club then. Okay, but we're gonna need more stipulations. Yes we do. Instead of cutting it once, lets cut it again. Yeah, four triangles. And we will position them in a circle. And in the middle we will dump chips. Or potato salad. Let me ask you a question, how do you feel about frilly toothpicks? I'm for em!"
Godspeed, Mitch...
Mitch Hedberg dead at 37
Some of my favorite Mitchisms:
"I bought a doughnut and they gave me a receipt for the doughnut. I don't need a receipt for the doughnut - I'll just give you money and you give me the doughnut. End of transaction. We don't need to bring ink and paper into this. I can't imagine a scenario in which I would need to prove that I bought a doughnut. Some skeptical friend... don’t even act like I didn't buy a doughnut, I've got the documentation right here. Oh wait, it's back home in the file... under "D", for doughnut."
"I rent a lot of cars, y'know, cuz I go on the road. I rent cars. And when I drive a rental car I don't know what's going on with it, right? So a lot of time I drive, like, for 10 miles with the emergency brake on. That doesn't say a lot for me, but it really doesn't say a lot for the emergency brake. It's really not an emergency brake, it's an emergency make-the-car-smell-funny lever."
"I don't have a girlfriend. I just know this lady who'd be really mad if she heard me say that."
"You know when they have a fishing show on TV? They catch the fish and then let it go. They don't want to eat the fish; they just want to make it late for something."
"I want to be a race car passenger; just a guy who bugs the driver. "Say man, can I turn on the radio? You should slow down. Why do we gotta keep going in circles? Man, you really like Tide ..."
"I think Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem. It's not the photographer's fault. Bigfoot is blurry. And that's extra scary to me, because there's a large, out-of-focus monster roaming the countryside. Run. He's fuzzy. Get outta here."
"I played golf. I'm not good at golf, I never got good at it, I never got a hole in one ... but I did hit a guy. And that's way more satisfying.... You're supposed to yell 'fore,' but I was way too busy mumbling, "There ain't no way that's gonna hit him."
"A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer."
"I order a club sandwich all the time. And I'm not even a member, I don't know how I get away with it. I like my sandwiches with three peices of bread. So do I. Lets form a club then. Okay, but we're gonna need more stipulations. Yes we do. Instead of cutting it once, lets cut it again. Yeah, four triangles. And we will position them in a circle. And in the middle we will dump chips. Or potato salad. Let me ask you a question, how do you feel about frilly toothpicks? I'm for em!"
Godspeed, Mitch...
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