Apr 30, 2005

Funny tag of the day, on a railing at a nearby apartment complex:

"George W. Bush thinks poo poo is funny"

Apr 29, 2005

My parents just got home from dinner, and there was a message waiting for them on the answering machine:

"Um, hi. This is so-and-so down the street. We wanted to let you know that your pet bunny is in our back yard. She's playing with our Golden Retriever and I don't think we've had this much fun in a long time!"

Lilly Belle (or Glen depending on which gender you are these days) you rule!
Need to find Serenity?

Apr 28, 2005

Guess who now owns all ten volumes of the Sandman? (Hence I've been reading instead of blogging lately)

Apr 18, 2005

Edgar Styles: I have a photographic memory, remember?
Jesse: Yeah well I have a photogenic memory.

Everything Jesse remembers looks perty!

Apr 16, 2005

- Have you ever wanted to fight a brontosaurus, or be best friends with a stegosaurus?
Time travel can help you do that.
- Have you ever wished you had been Wal-Mart's 1,000th customer, and received a complimentary bag of shoes?
Time travel can help you do that.
- Have you ever longed to visit ancient eras, to meet Catherine the Great, or Rumplestiltzkin, or even the aliens who lived in the pyramids?
Time travel can help you do that.

Online Time Travel Pharmacy

Apr 14, 2005

Too good to be true - but it is true!

Here are some of the eligibility requirements for the new WWE Raw Diva Search:

"ELIGIBILITY. To enter and participate in the Search, applicants must satisfy each of the following eligibility requirements: A. Applicants must have been born female and must be legal residents of the 48 contiguous United States (excludes Alaska and Hawaii) or the District of Columbia."

That's right you hot little trannys (especially Alaskan and Hawaiian ones) you aren't cut out for being a wwe divas (despite what you might have had cut off) Would they do a quick check for a prostate if they weren't sure? Interesting.
I love the fact that we finally live in a world where 24, alias, and lost are automatic renewals and stale sitcoms liek will and grace might be getting cancelled - what's gonna be back next season ands what might not be.

Apr 9, 2005

Bovines Unite - Not sure what to think, except that man, I could eat a hamburg right about now.
Great song lyrics of the day:

"Now I've been lazy most all my life writin' songs and sleepin' late
And any manual labor I've done was purely by mistake
If street sweepers can smile then I've got no right to feel upset
But sometimes I still forget
'Til the lights go on and the stage is set
And the song hits home and you feel that sweat"
- from Mac McAnally's "It's My Job"
HFS may be gone, but HFStival is still going to happen this year (its just moving to Baltimore, away from the trainwreck of a baseball field called RFK Stadium) Here is the main stage lineup:

Billy Idol
Sum 41
Social Distortion
Foo Fighters
Good Charlotte
The Bravery
Citizen Cope
Jimmies Chicken Shack
New York Dolls
Unwritten Law
They Might Be Giants
Louis XIV
Echo and the Bunnymen
The Stereophonics

I'll be there if it was JUST Billy Idol.

Apr 4, 2005

Well they made me sweat a little, but my baby blue comes through in the end - congrats to UNC!
Ahhhh the doldrums of post-sweeps programming -
CBS - some movie about locusts? Probably a successful follow up to "Spring Break Shark Attack"
NBC - Mork and Mindy the movie - 'nuf said
ABC - "Eyes" aka "Las Vegas Lite" which is already "Diet:CSI"
UNC up by 15 just after the half - go Tarheels!
Quick 24 blasts
- I don't think stealth bombers can shoot missiles at other planes, the drop things onto the ground, hence the bomber part of the name.
- It really isn't much of a perimeter if the bad guy can walk out onto the street, get in a sketchy looking van and drive away.
- Jack hasn't been burned enough by evil women, to just assume that all women with guns are probably terrorists at worse, evil mercenaries at best?

Apr 3, 2005

Among 'big story' deaths this past week like Pope John Paul, Terry Schiavo, hell even Frank Purdue and Jonny Cochran, American lost one of its best comedians:
Mitch Hedberg dead at 37

Some of my favorite Mitchisms:

"I bought a doughnut and they gave me a receipt for the doughnut. I don't need a receipt for the doughnut - I'll just give you money and you give me the doughnut. End of transaction. We don't need to bring ink and paper into this. I can't imagine a scenario in which I would need to prove that I bought a doughnut. Some skeptical friend... don’t even act like I didn't buy a doughnut, I've got the documentation right here. Oh wait, it's back home in the file... under "D", for doughnut."

"I rent a lot of cars, y'know, cuz I go on the road. I rent cars. And when I drive a rental car I don't know what's going on with it, right? So a lot of time I drive, like, for 10 miles with the emergency brake on. That doesn't say a lot for me, but it really doesn't say a lot for the emergency brake. It's really not an emergency brake, it's an emergency make-the-car-smell-funny lever."

"I don't have a girlfriend. I just know this lady who'd be really mad if she heard me say that."

"You know when they have a fishing show on TV? They catch the fish and then let it go. They don't want to eat the fish; they just want to make it late for something."

"I want to be a race car passenger; just a guy who bugs the driver. "Say man, can I turn on the radio? You should slow down. Why do we gotta keep going in circles? Man, you really like Tide ..."

"I think Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem. It's not the photographer's fault. Bigfoot is blurry. And that's extra scary to me, because there's a large, out-of-focus monster roaming the countryside. Run. He's fuzzy. Get outta here."

"I played golf. I'm not good at golf, I never got good at it, I never got a hole in one ... but I did hit a guy. And that's way more satisfying.... You're supposed to yell 'fore,' but I was way too busy mumbling, "There ain't no way that's gonna hit him."

"A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer."

"I order a club sandwich all the time. And I'm not even a member, I don't know how I get away with it. I like my sandwiches with three peices of bread. So do I. Lets form a club then. Okay, but we're gonna need more stipulations. Yes we do. Instead of cutting it once, lets cut it again. Yeah, four triangles. And we will position them in a circle. And in the middle we will dump chips. Or potato salad. Let me ask you a question, how do you feel about frilly toothpicks? I'm for em!"

Godspeed, Mitch...
Collision of questionable pop culture - Numa Numa Guy on American Idle

Apr 2, 2005

Sin City ruled - more to come.