Summer movie madness!

I know, we're like two-three weeks into the summer movie season, but it's not too late for me to let you know what you need to see, and what movies should cause you to run fleeing from the cineplex.

Let's start with the already outs:

• Spider-Man 3: I loved a lot about this movie. Was it too melodramatic? Yeah. Was there way to much shoved into it? Absolutely. But I think most of it was necessary - and I think it ultimately works - maybe more than it should
• Shrek 3: Saw this last night. I think it might be better than 2 - slightly less pop culture references and a little more straight comedy. Once again, the supporting cast shines (Gingerbread Man's life flashing before his eyes might be the best scene of the series so far). Another at least worth watching.

Let's see how they compare to everything else I've seen this year:

1. Pan's Labyrinth
2. Hot Fuzz
3. Grindhouse
4. 300
5. Black Snake Moan
6. The Host
7. Spider-Man 3
8. Zodiac
9. Shrek 3
10. Ghost Rider

Now onto the must sees for the summer:

• Pirates 3: surprise! I'm telling you to go see a pirate movie. No explanation needed, thinks this landlocked scalawag. (this friday!)
• Knocked Up: According to friend's who've already seen it, it's like Nine Months, but funny. (June 1)
• Transformers: These will not be the Autobots and the Decepticons of your childhood, but Michael "boom boom" Bay sure knows how to blow stuff up, and that will work to his advantage for once. (July 4)
• Fantastic Four 2: It'll be better than the original, I promise. Plus the villain is a big purple cloud! (June 15)
• Harry Potter and the something of the something: Unlike the rest of the nerd world, I have no idea what's going to happen in this movie. (July 13)
• Stardust: Matthew Vaughn (Layer Cake) directs this Neil Gaiman story. And DeNiro's a pirate. (Aug 10)
• Superbad: My prediction for comedy fo the summer. Starring Michael Cera! (George Michael from Arrested Development (Aug 17)

Probably sees:

• Oceans 13: Loved the first, hated the second. Maybe Clooney and co. can get there groove back. (June 8)
• Live Free or Die Hard: Bruce Willis must save New Hampshire in this pg-13 outing. That probably means no "yippie kay yay" for you. (June 27)
• Ratatouille: the new Pixar outing, from the creator of the Incredibles. (June 29)
• Bourne Ultimatum: Opposite of Oceans, I hated the first but loved the second. Hopefully the third is even better. (Aug 3)

Run!

• I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry: Don't be fooled by the trailer! Jessica Biel in her underwear is not worth suffering through Adam Sandler and Kevin James pretending to be a gay couple. (July 20)
• The Simpsons: Remember when they were relevant? (July 27)
• Rush Hour 3: Vinnie Jones joins the cast. Will he say 'I'm the Juggernaut bitch?' If so, I'm in. (Aug 10)
• Good Luck Chuck: Dane Cook tries not to have sex with Jessica Alba. What you saw the trailer and it looked pretty funny? Sigh. Yeah, me to. I'll probably go. But no Chuck and Larry! (Aug 24)
• Others: Hostel 2, DOA: Dead or Alive, Nancy Drew, License to Wed, I'm sure there are plenty others.

You should be able to see trailers for any of these at: http://www.apple.com/trailers/