Yes it has been four months since my last post

The fantasticar is a freakin dodge...

Help this pirate!

This guy's family was killed by ninjas and now wants to infiltrate them to seek revenge. For that, he needs Kung-Fu lessons. For that, he needs money. So he's selling this crossbow. You can read his sad tale below:

Barnett Rhino Recurve Crossbow - used, extras
...need money for Kung-Fu lessons.

A pretty funny take on a classic:

All your snakes belong to us

Back from the beach!

And grumpy about it. This is funny though:

Eharmony Minor Matchmaker

Open letter from Steely Dan to Luke Wilson

I know I haven't been around for awhile (and I'm going to the beach on Sat so won't be back for awhile either, probably), but a co-worker sent this and it is freakin hilarious:

To the great comic actor Luke Wilson

Wednesday Pull List

Why not bring this feature back? I can't guarantee it will stick around. Here are my brief reviews of this weeks comics:

Uncanny X-Men 475: Deadly Genesis comes to Uncanny, Warpath becomes an a-lister and the X-Men go to space. Hello Brubaker! Looking forward to this 12 (!) issue arc.

New Excalibur 9: Another Claremont book without Claremont. I didn't expect this book to wrap up the loose ends of Weapon X AND Apocalypse v. Dracula. Well done, Frank Tieri. This book could potentially be really good.

Transform and Roll Out

If ever there was a movie Michael Bay was born to make, this could be it:

Transformers Announcement Trailer

Is it 7.4.7 yet?

In case you're the one person who hasn't seen it yet:

Spidey 3 Teaser

Ask a Ninja

A ninja explains podcasting to people over 12. "There's Eva Longoria juggling a chainsaw - we are a factory that makes apple pie for whales! I look forward to serving you apple pie soon! That doesn't sound threatening at all.

more at www.askaninja.com

I'm back!

Internet works. Need to catch up.

Hulk sell cars.

More to come!

I'm not dead

I just hate comcast - it's taken a month and a half to get internet hooked up at the new place. Hopefully it will be ready soon - and then I'll be back full time.

In the meantime - check out www.eavesdropdc.com

DC will own Marvel two summers in a row...

New Superman Returns trailer

Bush spoofs himself

Bush goes toe to toe with himself in a fun self-roast at the National Press Correspondants dinner.

"We need to unite - Republicans, Democrats, and John McCain"

Save Darfur

Thanks to evereyone who came to the Save Darfur rally (even you Pelosi). It was a great overall, and hopefully it raised some awareness for the crisis going on in the Sudan. Plus, how often do Elie Wiesel, Barack Obama, Big and Rich, and George Clooney hang out? Actually, I hear they're in a fantasy baseball league together, so probably pretty often.

Here's a picture of Big and Rich performing yesterday - and if you haven't gone online to fill out an electronic postcard to President Bush, please do so now! www.savedarfur.com

Live Mario

Some guy at Gordon college turns Super Mario 1 into a performance piece.

Tons of Marvel news

Yesterday really was Marvel Comics day:

--Jon Favreau to direct Iron Man (Hollywood Reporter) There's a bunch of other Marvel movies news there.

--Big surprise from X3 was revealed on Leno (YouTube)

--Ultimate Alliance - X-Men Legends expands to the whole MU (ComixFan)

Lots of great news in a week that already brought new Astonishing X-Men, Runaways, and X-Factor.

Cue mono russian music

This is insane. Just when I got the tetris theme out of my head:

Office Building Tetris

Somebody set up us the bomb!

Surgeon General's Warning: All your base are belong to us.

I probably haven't seen this is 2-3 years - still awesome.

More video game movies?

I can't believe they made a movie about Dead or Alive. Didn't they learn from Street Fighter and Mortal Kombat? Anyways, here is the trailer. I see there's a gatuitous volleyball scene.

The too cute for school Sarah Carter is in it though (of Smallville and Boston Legal) - so it's got that going for it at least.

Clerks 2 Trailer

Because Jason Mewes needs work. And because Kevin Smith has no real directorial skills. Here.

He seems so nice too...

This guy wants to do wierd stuff with a unicorn

Taco Town

Holy Cow - someone actually made the taco from SNL's taco town sketch!

Check it out - Pizza? Now that's what I call a taco!

Easter is only a week away...

You know what the easter bunny is doing the other 364 days a year? Kicking Ass!
The Easter Bunny Hates You

Quotes of the day

1.
"You know what makes me mad? Danny Glover. Danny Glover could never take down Predator in real life."
-My brother

2.
Josh: so i've been a machine today
Me: o yeah
Me: did you kill innocents without regard?
Josh: no that's every day
Josh: nothing special about THAT

Make a limp W take balls to the face (and it isn't dirty!)
Here- Thanks Josh!

Pirates on Bones in 2 minutes!

Sooo - my brother likes Predator

Matt: We watched all the Predator movies the other day. Arnold is so huge! They're making another one.
Me: I'm looking forward to Alien vs. Predator vs. Freddy vs. Jason
Matt: Predator would mess everyone up.
Me: What if you added Ash from Evil Dead?
Matt: Doesn't matter.
Me: Ok, three vs three: Ash, Alien, and Predator vs Freddy, Jason, and...
Matt: Chucky.
Me: Ok, Chucky.
Matt: Predator would kill everyone. Too lopsided.
Me: How about Jason and Ash vs Alien and Predator? I think that's a fair fight.
Matt: Predator would kill them all. Even Alien.
Me: Dude, Ash has a chainsaw for a hand! And a boomstick!
Matt: Predator has a staff-spear thing, these discs he throws, ninja stars, a freaking plasma cannon that can lock onto anything and oh yeah - camo that makes him freaking invisible. How's Ash gonna hit him?
Me: Chainsaw for hand?
Matt: Well, Ash never reloads, so that's one thing going for him. But I don't think anyone could realistically beat a Predator one on one.
Me: Not even Legolas?
Matt: ELF! ELF! ELF! No. I might have though Rambo at one time, but Predator would kill him. Rambo, George Bush -
Me: Bush? Which one?
Matt: Either. Both. That's Bush's problem - he should get Predator to take care of business. Osama? Dead. Iraq? Solved. We need to invest more money in tracking down Predator.

The blogs are back in town!

Holy crap - some of my friends got off their butts and did some stuff online:

Mike Uncensored - first post since August

Need. More. Blogs. - the first and probably only blog post you'll see from one Dan Collinge

Occasional Drivel - this guy claimed he was going to post something but lied to me.

Unfortunately, I can't say anything for my pals at Josh's Blog and Everyone Loves a Masshole.

Slackers!

Quote of the Day

Sultan: Have you any famous last words?
Baron Munchausen: Not yet.
Sultan: "Not yet"? Is that famous?
-The Adventures of Baron Munchausen

Rules of the High Sea

1. Ye Captain is always right.
2. If ye lose an eye, hand or leg in service, tough luck.
3. All Booty belongs to yer Captain.
4. If ye "poops out" on the poop deck, ye hang from the yardarm.
5. All Rum belongs to yer Captain.
6. Mutineers will walk the plank.
7. Any problems with rules, ye die.
-Ye Management

(Thanks to the Captain's mum fer this!)

Quote of the Day

"Michael Jordan plays ball. Charlie Manson kills people. I talk." - Thank You For Smoking

Wrong George team, but...

Never thought I'd cheer for a DC team that wasn't the Colonials - or even one that beat my Tarheels in the second round, but go George Mason!

Mid-major George Mason shocks UConn, goes to Final Four (CBS Sportsline)

Guess how many teams are left in my bracket? If you guessed zero, you'd be correct.

Quote of the Day

"Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is it vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished, as the once vital voice of the verisimilitude now venerates what they once vilified. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose vis-à-vis an introduction, and so it is my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V." - V for Vendetta (thanks to Moo for this!)

More powerful than a fighting blue chicken

What was the UDel mascot doing on the National Mall? Trying (and failing) to out-man me.

Interestingly enough, this week marked my two year anniversary in this online enterprise - go me!

Don't forget to check out www.eavesdropdc.com!

Prison Break marathon on FX today - new ep tomorrow!

You've probably seen this a hundred times, but it's still pretty cool:
Racing Super Mario Bros.

Natalie Portman SNL Gangsta Rap - I've always wanted to smash Parnell with a chair too.

For all of those Jibidyites - do not fear! New Jibidy is on the way! The revamped comic is moving along, and I think the final product is going to be fantastic. (I am, of course, biased) Want an idea about what's coming up? Check out this preview art from the forthcoming Captain Jibidy and the Super Pirates #1:

Grey Matter: for those hopelessly addicted to Grey's Anatomy.

Dick Cheney's Got a Gun

Scanner Darkly Trailer - ooooh, that crazy Linklater.

rednepic ('red"ne-pik) - adj -1. impressive in low-budget quality.

The rednepic hog tying event would be written about in gravy-stained diaries for generations to come.

Word of the day: Rednepic.

Great story:

Wikipedia Bans Access from Capitol Hill Computers: The online encyclopedia Wikipedia, which allows users to edit entries on a wide range of subjects, has banned Capitol Hill computers from the editing process. The reason? Hill staffers tend to write glowing entries about their bosses. The rest here. (NPR)

The Steelers meet the Muppets:

It's Polamalu

"Dick Cheney shot a man in the face this weekend. What did you do?"

Dick Cheney Finally Takes a Stand Against Trial Lawyers (Wonkette)

Me in plastic:


Create your own at: http://www.reasonablyclever.com/mini/index.htm

Holy Crab:

Spongebob Legopants

Quick 24 update:
Body count as of end of hour 7:
Bad Guys: 11 Jack: 7 (Russian sex slave: 1)

Ben's Beard - Leading us to Super Bowl victory!

I pledge allegiance to Big Ben’s beard
of the United City of Pittsburgh,
and to the mojo for which it stands,
one Steeler Nation, under Cowher,
undefeatable,
with liberty and Bettis for all.

I'm pledge number 13708.

Steel Addicts: for those who crave Black and Gold

New Metro Voice!

My favorite is John Howell

Quick 24 update:
Body count as of end of hour 6:
Bad Guys: 10 Jack: 7

"Every day I smoke two hundred cigarettes and one hundred cigars and drink a bottle of whisky and three bottles of wine with dinner. And dinner is meat...RAW meat. The cook serves me an entire animal and I fight it bare-handed and tear off what I want and eat it and have the rest buried, In NEW JERSEY! For H.A.T.E!" - Dirk Anger, Nextwave #1

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Quick 24 update:

Body count as of end of hour 5:
Bad Guys: 9 Jack: 7

Nick Fury, Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. is on FOX 5 in DC right now - I thought Marvel burned every copy of this movie.... David Hasslehoff - you're so dreamy when talking with a cigar clenched between your teeth.

Someone gave Uwe Boll more money to make another bad videogame movie, and then convinced a bunch of known actors to sink low enough to star in it:

In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Movie

Wierd:

Mike Tyson Punch Out in Concert

I want to own this:

LOADED BIBLE: JESUS vs. VAMPIRES ONE-SHOT
Written by Tim Seeley, art by Nate Bellegard and Mark Englert, cover by Stefano Caselli.
In the near future, the United States is ruled by bloodsucking vampire hordes. Only one man can end their reign of terror: Jesus H. Christ. A tale of war, love, religion and severed heads, the controversial Loaded Bible answers an age-old question: "What Would Jesus Do?" Answer: He'd kick vampire ass.
48 pages, $4.99, in stores on April 19.

24

Hour 3:

How long does it take for Jack to go from assassination suspect to back in charge…

Good to see Doug from Mind of the Married Man getting some work.

Body count as of end of hour 3:Bad Guys: 6          Jack: 4

Hour 4:

10:06: Hobbit sighting!!!!!!!!!!

Body count as of end of hour 4:Bad Guys: 8          Jack: 6

Ninja vs Pirates: "When the most archetypal enemies in the universe clash for the ultimate battle, lives and love are on the line. This could be the most epic and important film of this century."

My favorite part:
"Ninjas like to hide in the rafters. So when you enter a room, shoot your muskets off into the air wildly."

Note: The movie is actually pretty terrible, but amusing.

24

And the season officially starts late…. (at least I’m watching a game with a player named “Justin Gage” in it)

On West Wing: CJ and Danny jaw… something about “bangin” being a euphemism.

Panthers win.

On West Wing: Will is awkward

Graphic violence! Viewer discretion! 18 months ago!

Hour 1: 7AM-8AM

7:02: Robin Wood!
7:07: “Have you arrested the person who did this?” Holy crap, Palmer was shot less than 5 minutes ago!
7:10: Chloe’s a slut!
7:15: Michelle’s still a hottie! Such an unintentional bad pun…
First commercial break body count:
Bad Guys: 2           Jack: 0
7:27: Best line so far: “I look like a wedding cake” So not only is the president a gigantic nutjob, but his wife actually makes him looks competent.
Second commercial break: still no hobbit sightings.
7:40something: Now we’re talking – Jack punches out a guy named Weaver, kidnaps a kid, and steals a helicopter. When does the shoosting begin?
Third commercial break: Danny and CJ are not eating dinner again. Apparently a potential nuclear meltdown trumps romance.
7:50: Edgar Styles is heartbroken. Time to crack some skulls Edgar…
7:59: What did Palmer know?
Hour 1 body count:
Bad Guys: 2          Jack: 3

Hour 2: 8AM-9AM

8:00: Annoying teenager B is thrown up against wall. Again.
8:07: “The man does have a history of insubordination.” There’s an understatement. It must be refreshing to start a season as a rogue agent
8:15: Chloe = exposition girl.
8:17: Wayne Palmer = Gary Payton.
There aren’t a lot of clock tickers…
8:28: Still no hobbit sightings…
8:36: Did Jack just take out a baggage handler?
8:45: How in the hell did those two become the first couple?
8:55: Jack has a tender, fatherly moment.
8:59: What, a mole? They’ve never done that before. Still no hobbits!
Body count as of end of hour 2:
Bad Guys: 4          Jack: 3

Major props to the Steelers and their awesome (though harrowing) upset win over the Colts.

Coming soon (under two hours) the return of:





Let the body count begin!

Kill Bill meets Resident Evil meets Underworld meets Aeon Flux:

Ultraviolet

The creepy park ranger blogger left a comment!

This can't be legit:

Chuck Norris responds

Fake! But interesting:

Robot in disguise?

Kinda funny:

Pac Man Library

Handy little site; here's the quickest way to get a real person and not deal with stupid automated peoples:

IVR Cheatsheet

How did I not post this yet:

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest

This is kind of cool. Here's a list of the National Film Registry at the Library of Congress; all these movies have been deemed cool enough to keep for FOREVER!

National Film Registry

Happy New Year! (I know, a day late, so sue me)

One of the funniest quotes of last year (and last week):

Gup: Who brought a drinking game to a party that there's kids at?
Tim: I dunno, who brought chocolate covered pretzels to a party that there's fat people at?