ahoy-matey.com

new shirt

2009-05-23T23:27:00.001-04:00

I just made this teeshirt on spreadshirt. Super excited.

First two chs of The Junk Whisperer on Scribd

2009-02-24T12:03:00.001-05:00

The Junk Whisperer chapters 1 and 2

Publish at Scribd or explore others: Fiction & Literature eBooks detective dwain

Junk Whisperer on Amazon

2009-02-23T11:53:00.003-05:00

Quick post: The Junk Whisperer is now available on amazon.com:

http://www.amazon.com/Junk-Whisperer-Things-Tequila-Taught/dp/144049391X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1235407347&sr=8-1

Now that's what Dwain calls music, 2008 edition

2009-01-14T13:38:00.003-05:00

A playlist of my favorite songs of 2008 (I know all are not new songs):

My Drive Thru – Santogold, Casablancas, and N.E.R.D.
369 – Cupid feat. B.O.B.
Sex on Fire – Kings of Leon
Robocop – Kanye West
Church – T-Pain feat. Teddy Verseti
Electric Feel – MGMT
Broken Watch – Orson
She Moves in Her Own Way – The Kooks
Hurt You – The Sounds
We Used to Vacation – Cold War Kids
It’s a Hit – Rilo Kiley
Homewrecker – Gretchen Wilson
Sweetest Girl – Wyclef and Akon
Maps – Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Hold Music – Architecture in Helsinki
I’m Not Gonna Teach Her How to Dance with You – The Black Kids
No One's Gonna Love You - Band of Horses

Almost transformers

2008-10-21T20:04:00.001-04:00

Transform!

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

I'm not dead

2008-10-06T13:23:00.001-04:00

Ha:

http://despair.com/blogging.html

Best song in the world today

2008-07-29T10:22:00.003-04:00

In honor of the late, great Bryant Park Project, I present to you the Best Song in the World Today:

Soundgarden's My Wave (Youtube)

List making widget?

2008-07-21T19:53:00.002-04:00

Anyone know of any good widgets for making and posting top 5 or top 10 lists? I'm looking for something that is not topic specific (like the imdb movie list widget). Shoutlist kind of does this, but it doesn't seem like there are many (any) users, and the functionality is pretty bare bones.

Oh, and I'd be remiss if I didn't shill for Josh's blog du jour: http://napalmbackflip.wordpress.com/

Captain Jibidy 110

2008-06-11T20:36:00.002-04:00

Read the strip here. Jibidy really is there in that last panel, albeit out of focus. I just couldn't fit him in with the layout.

See:

Captain Jibidy 109

2008-06-01T18:06:00.002-04:00

Read the strip here. Sorry for the long, long delay. My digital camera died, and it's kind of hard to take pictures of Lego people without one. So I bought a new one yesterday, and voila! New comic. It's going to take me some time to get caught up, so expect about one new strip a week (going live by Monday morning) until I get a healthy backlog.

In case you forgot what is going on, here's a recap:

Jibidy, Pete, and Billy are staying with Marlo until they can find their own place
Bill Fang's gender was revealed, uncomfortably so to Pete
Jibidy wants to fight crime

Today we take a peak at what's been going on at Sketchy Shoes in our heroes' absence. We haven't seen the place since issue 70.

Also, at least one person has asked for my top list of movies so far for the year. It's been hard for me to do this, because I recently finally saw 5 movies in the theater! But here you is the list for this year so far:

Movies in the Theater:
1. Forgetting Sarah Marshall
2. In Bruges
3. Iron Man
4. Cloverfield
5. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Aliens, err Skull
6. Harold and Khumar smoke pot with President Bush

Notable highs and lows from Netflix:
Highs: Lars and the Real Girl, Return of the Killer Tomatoes, 30 Days of Night

Lows: Revolver, Southland Tales, P2

Woot derby still ongoing!

2008-05-21T12:56:00.002-04:00

I'm up to 385th! Don't forget to vote for my design at: http://shirt.woot.com/Derby/Entry.aspx?id=16243

Vote for me on shirt.woot!

2008-05-19T23:20:00.003-04:00

I've got a design in the current woot.shirt derby race "Slogans". If you've ever bought something on woot, you can vote for my design:

"Your ironic presence is requested"

Current ranking: 845th.

Do you smell what Barack is cooking?

2008-04-21T21:38:00.003-04:00

I'm pretty sure I just heard Barack Obama say that on WWE Raw. I don't think I've been drinking. For more Obama-y goodness, check out this picture of the O-Zone from Saturday's Blue-White game. I'm in the bottom right corner, white shirt and sunglasses.

Sorry I've been AWOL lately. I've been busy promoting my new novel, The Junk Whisperer: Or, Things Tequila Taught Me, on sale now here. Go check it out! New issues of Jibidy should return in a few weeks.

Captain Jibidy 108

2008-04-07T20:29:00.002-04:00

Here it is. Last time I mention that Billy is a girl. And could this be the end of the Spider-Pirate?

Captain Jibidy 107

2008-03-31T11:31:00.001-04:00

Today's episode is here. I just can't get enough of that Spider-Pirate. And neither can Jibidy.

Sorry!

2008-03-29T14:32:00.002-04:00

Turns out that I'm not quite caught up enough to keep up with the three comics a week deal. I'll have the next issue up on Monday, and see how much I manage to complete over the next few days.

Other:
--I finally starting watching the new Battlestar Galactica. I'm not hooked yet, but I'm about halfway through season 1 and so far it's really interesting. Certainly nice to watch something smart while Lost is on a mini hiatus.

Captain Jibidy 106

2008-03-26T20:16:00.002-04:00

Today's issue is here. Pete deals with the revelation of Billy's identity. Poorly.

New Jibidy up tonight

2008-03-26T09:18:00.001-04:00

Seriously. As soon as I get home. Look for it.

Captain Jibidy 105

2008-03-23T21:27:00.004-04:00

Monday's strip is up here. The mystery of Billy Fang continues to unravel. For more on the twist at the end, look to Wednesday's #106. My apologies for the partial lego nudity. (if that doesn't entice you to click the link, I don't know what will)

Also:
--I'm not a vegetarian anymore! I'm super excited and have already managed to consume beef, turkey, chicken, and pork in the last 36 hours. Gross, right? So much for the 12 pounds I lost over the last six weeks.
--I picked up the new Gnarls Barkley album on Friday (The Odd Couple), but I've only listened through once or twice so far. What I've heard I really like.
--Finally saw Cronenberg's Naked Lunch. Maybe the weirdest movie I've ever seen. And I've seen some weird stuff.

Junk Whisperer

2008-03-22T16:08:00.002-04:00

I'm just about finished with my novel, The Junk Whisperer. It should available in early April. Anyways, I just read this piece of dialogue. And it made me laugh. If it makes you laugh (out of context, of course) maybe you should pick up the book when it comes out.

Thad also thought that little people were funny, but mostly when they weren’t trying to kill him. Thunk! Another throwing star hit the mailbox. “Sonuvabitch!” it exclaimed.

“He's about halfway across the yard, can you shoot the dwarf or something?” Thad asked.

“Oh, so now you’re ok with me killing people?”

“It’s self defense!” he exclaimed. "I’m not exactly giving you permission to go on a spree at a convent.”

Captain Jibidy 104

2008-03-20T21:20:00.000-04:00

Read Friday's issue here.

It's time to learn a little more about Billy Fang.

It's that time of year again!

2008-03-20T16:03:00.002-04:00

This still may be my favorite YouTube video ever:

The Easter Bunny Hates You

Captain Jibidy 103

2008-03-18T21:29:00.002-04:00

Wednesday's strip is up here. It features a gag I've wanted to include since I first saw the commercials for the Simpsons movie. Plus, does Marlo know The Lumberjack?

St Patty's Day

2008-03-17T10:37:00.002-04:00

Go Irish and all that jazz (just not Notre Dame). I did a St Patty's day Jibidy back in 2005. Monty Python fans will hopefully notice an homage to the "What have the Roman's ever done for us?" speech from Monty Python.

Captain Jibidy 102

2008-03-16T23:17:00.002-04:00

Read Monday's episode here. Will Marlo crack, and let the boys stay with her?

Don't forget, three new strips this week, so come back on Wednesday for #103.

Captain Jibidy 101

2008-03-12T19:45:00.002-04:00

Read the issue here. I'm sure Marlo is going to love the idea of Jibidy and crew crashing at her place.

No comic this Saturday, but check out three (count 'em) issues of Jibidy next week. 102 drops on Monday, 103 on Wednesday, and 104 on Friday.

Which way to the smash bros kegger?

2008-03-10T23:20:00.002-04:00

Captain Jibidy volume 1 now available!

2008-03-10T22:58:00.002-04:00

That's right, all you piratical aficionados, strips 50-99 - featuring the full daring rescue and escape of Captain Jibidy and his crew from homicidal robots and vicious vikings - can now be a real live book for your coffee table, magazine rack, or comic book long box!

The book is available through the new ahoy-matey bookstore: http://stores.lulu.com/ahoymatey
You can order a full color print book there. I know it's a little pricey (hey, color printing isn't cheap!) so there is also a handy Adobe pdf version available for download. How much does that cost? What if I told you that I'd give it to you for three low payments of $0.00! That's right, the electronic version is free.

Why are you still here? Go get the comic! And check out Captain Jibidy #101 on Wednesday.

Captain Jibidy 100

2008-03-08T20:59:00.003-05:00

Read the comic here. As you'll see, it's high time to get some much needed estrogen back in this comic.

In related Jibidy news, stay tuned to this blog for information on how you too can own your very own copy of Captain Jibidy vol 1. (A print collection of strips 50-99)

In unrelated music news - I've been experimenting a bit with itunes lately. I usually play new music to death and I decided to mix it up a little bit and sort my library by "last played", start at the bottom, and listen to all the music I haven't listened to for years (in some cases since 2004 or 2005). Here's a sampling of the gems that have cropped up:

Don Henley - End of Innocence
BNL - If I had a Million Dollars
Saliva - Click Click Boom
Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow - Picture
Defuser - Karma
Pinmonkey - Barbed Wire and Roses
Ja Rule - I Cry
Leeann Rimes - Can't Fight the Moonlight

I've got NO idea why these songs aren't on high rotation. Seriously.

New Jibidy coming Saturday

2008-03-05T23:14:00.002-05:00

#100 still needs a little work - look for it this weekend.

Roundup - some good, some not

2008-03-04T20:11:00.002-05:00

1. Brett Favre retires (ESPN) - Favre has been my favorite footballer as long as I've loved the game. Here's another great piece about him. We'll miss you Brett.

"Brett, we miss you already" (Also ESPN)

2. The co-creator of D&D passes away. I hope he was aligned lawful good. (CNN)

3. Liev Schreiber actually looks like Sabretooth (Page6)

Captain Jibidy 99

2008-03-02T17:53:00.003-05:00

See it here: Captain Jibidy 99

This is a direct carry over from the last issue. So the line of dialogue at the top is the Consultant speaking to the Red Ninja. Anyways, that finished Volume 1 of the story. I tried to make 50-99 a pretty complete, kind of contained story. I hope you enjoy it. I decided the cast is a little too big, and some get lost in the shuffle. So, the next volume will be shorter (likely 100-125) and will focus on Jibidy, Pete, and Billy. Volume three will feature Jake, Lou, and Steve. Think of it as the Blue and Gold squads. Or not.

Issue 98

2008-02-27T00:00:00.001-05:00

A face (albeit a masked one) from the past returns. Can you say buddy assassin film?

Captain Jibidy 98

Issue 97

2008-02-23T15:13:00.004-05:00

We're getting ever closer to 100! The original purpose here was to show the reunion between Jibidy and his parrot, Percy. Then I realized that Percy is in the background of issue 79. Oh well. The crew has been running around so much, no one's really sure what's going on. What ever happened to the Yeti?

Captain Jibidy Issue 97

The escape - it's almost over!

2008-02-20T19:21:00.002-05:00

Only four more strips until volume 1 of Captain Jibidy is complete. Volume 2 is, of course, not started - so enjoy these new ones while they are hot!

Captain Jibidy 96

So I should get rid of my old beta stuff?

2008-02-16T16:47:00.003-05:00

Blu-ray is it: Toshiba to give up on HD DVD, end format war (Reuters)

Toshiba Corp is planning to give up on its HD DVD format for high definition DVDs, conceding defeat to the competing Blu-Ray technology backed by Sony Corp , a company source said on Saturday.
The move will likely put an end to a battle that has gone on for several years between consortiums led by Toshiba and Sony vying to set the standard for the next-generation DVD and compatible video equipment.

Doesn't change the fact that I can't afford a player, the discs, or an HDTV.

A healthy weekend dose of Cap'n Jibidy

2008-02-16T16:03:00.002-05:00

Don't count the Consultant out yet:

Captain Jibidy 95

Wow - look at all of those dead Vikings

2008-02-14T10:54:00.001-05:00

The rest of Jibidy's crew catches up with him today. He's been a bad lil pirate:

Captain Jibidy 94

New Indy Legos

2008-02-09T18:26:00.000-05:00

I'm not sold on the new movie yet, but I am sold on the Lego sets for the new movie:

See the rest at Gizmodo (link)

Jibidy vs the Consultant, Round 2

2008-02-09T11:41:00.000-05:00

Will someone get another hook to the head?

Jibidy 93

Live Free or Jibidy Hard

2008-02-06T19:23:00.000-05:00

And I'm out. Jibidy kicks ass at the link below:

Jibidy 92

Mike Huckabee will divide America

2008-02-05T19:39:00.001-05:00

Look at what he's done to the best three late night guys:

Shameful.

Jibidy Hard with a Vengeance!

2008-02-02T11:27:00.000-05:00

I'm running out of Die Hard jokes. As promised, the next riveting installment:

Jibidy 91

Poke the Frost Giant Again!

2008-01-29T20:31:00.000-05:00

I'm trying to get on a schedule - posting twice a week (once on Sat and another Tues night/Wed morn)

So the Yeti is still stuck in the secret entrance, and look who else is back:

Jibidy 90!

Come back on Saturday for the next exciting episode!

Jibidy Hard 2: Jibidy Harder!

2008-01-26T16:33:00.000-05:00

Well, Billy found the rest of the crew - that is, most of them. Aren't we missing someone?

Jibidy 89!

I've got the next few pages in the can, so expect a couple more this week.

Tonight: The last Saturday at Dr. Dremo's. A single tear for the last James Brown Ale I may ever have.

Yippee-ki-yay, lego pirate...

2008-01-23T22:29:00.000-05:00

Jibidy 88 - Jake, Jibidy, and Co. are wandering the the ducts of the Viking fortress. Who knew Vikings installed such extensive ductwork?

Dwainies!

2008-01-22T21:34:00.000-05:00

There's a writer's strike still going on, so let's get right to the awards (for the nominees, scroll down or go to here):

Best New TV Show: Chuck - this show gets better and better with every episode. A near perfect balance a cool, geekiness, and hilarity.

Best Returning TV Show: Lost - still the best show on TV. Can't wait for season 4. Bones would have won if the category was "most improved show".

Biggest disappointment on TV this year: Veronica Mars' cancellation - as much as a bitch about Heroes, watching a another brilliant show go out before its time was really too too sad.

Best Movie I saw in the Theater: Transformers - shut it. It was awesome.

Best Movie I got from Netflix (might not be '07 films): Dhoom 2 - no contest. If you are a fan of Bollywood, go see this. If not, you'll probably hate this musical version of Bad Boys/Entrapment.

Worst Movie I got from Netflix: Irish American Ninja - tough call. I know Who Killed me was reaaaly bad.

Best Album: Modest Mouse: "We Were Dead Before the Ship Even Sank" - another awesome album from beginning to end.

Best Comics Series or Miniseries: X-Factor - the little x-book that could.

Best Comics Moment: Cyclops unleashed in Astonishing X-Men #23 - the panel that finally sold me on Cyclops being a badass. It's only taken you fifteen years, Marvel.

Best Book I read:No Plot, No Problem! by Chris Baty - super duper inspiring.

Dude of the Year: Brett Favre (Of the playoff-bound Green Bay Packers) - sure he isn't going to the Superbowl, but he still had a unbelieveable year.

Dudette of the Year: Kristen Bell (Veronica Mars, Heroes) - I heart her.

2006 Dwainies

The great escape continues!

2008-01-16T20:47:00.000-05:00

What's through the secret doorway?

Jibidy 87!

Plus: The Dwainie Award winners will be announced this weekend, Writer's Strike be damned.

Some random thoughts as I watch the NH returns

2008-01-08T22:18:00.000-05:00

--One more reason to dislike John Edwards - his campaign theme is that awful John Melloncamp "This is Our Country" blech. And is that the guy from Desperate Housewives behind him?
--Sounding good tonight in their concession speeches - Mitt and Huck
--Sounding boring and poorly scripted in his victory speech -McCain

--American Gladiators may be the best thing to happen to NBC in awhile (it may also be a sign of the apocalypse).

--I've been reading up on Spidey's OMD debacle. Man am I glad I'm not a Spider-man fan. The X-books, on the other hand, continue to surge creatively.

--My current Super Bowl prediction: Green Bay vs Jacksonville

--Apparently Nip/Tuck isn't on tonight. I'm going to bed.

A New Year and a New Jibidy

2008-01-06T17:15:00.000-05:00

He's back!

A quick recap:

Jibidy confronted the dangerous Consultant (who turned out to be a fired coworker of Pete and Lou's)
Howard was mortally wounded by an mechanical transforming lab assistant, and Billy Fang avenged him.

Will the rest of the crew be able to escape the fortress with their respective plastic piece intact?

Captain Jibidy 86

The best of 2007 - The annual Dwainy nominations!

2007-12-31T14:29:00.000-05:00

Remember me? I'm that guy who wrote a novel in a month and then took the next month off. I'm back one last time before the end of the year. I'll post the nominees today and the winners in early January. Remember, nominees and winners are determined not be by how good they are but by how much I arbitrarily liked them. If you don't like it, make your own irrelevant blog award.

Best New TV Show:
Chuck
Pushing Daisies
Reaper

Best Returning TV Show:
Bones
Grey's Anatomy
Lost

Biggest disappointment on TV this year:
Addison leaving Grey's for Private Practice
Dr. Sara's head in a box on Prison Break
Heroes season one finale and lackluster volume 2
Veronica Mars' cancellation

Best Movie I saw in the Theater:
Live Free or Die Hard
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End
Superbad
Transformers

Best Movie I got from Netflix (might not be '07 films):
Alpha Dog
Bandidas
Dhoom 2
Fido
The Queen

Worst Movie I got from Netflix:
DOA: Dead or Alive
Idiocracy
I Know Who Killed Me
Irish American Ninja
Shooter

Best Album:
Amy Winehouse: "Back to Black"
Kanye West: "Graduation"
Modest Mouse: "We Were Dead Before the Ship Even Sank"
Rilo Kiley: "Under the Blacklight"
Spoon: "Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga"

Best Comics Series or Miniseries:
Astonishing X-Men
X-Factor
X-Men
World War Hulk

Best Comics Moment:
Black Bolt outed as a Skrull in Illuminati #5
Cyclops unleashed in Astonishing X-Men #23
Devil Dinosaur revealed as the mastermind in Nextwave #12
Hulk vs. The Sentry in WWH #5

Best Book I read:
Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman
No Plot, No Problem! by Chris Baty
Stardust by Neil Gaiman
You Suck by Christopher Moore

Dude of the Year:
Brett Favre (Of the playoff-bound Green Bay Packers)
Bruce Willis (Die Hard 4, Grindhouse)
Michael Cera (Superbad, Juno)
Nathan Fillion (Drive, Waitress)

Dudette of the Year:
Aishwarya Rai (Dhoom 2)
Kristen Bell (Veronica Mars, Heroes)
Megan Fox (Transformers)
Yvonne Strzechowski (Chuck)

Who says you need 30 days to write a novel?

2007-11-28T23:38:00.001-05:00

Because I just wrote one in 28 days! Thats right, my novel is finished. That means the story is done, and I reached 50,000 words! (50,989 to be exact). The novel is called "The Junk Whisperer" and should be available in Barnes and Noble in time to be a stocking stuffer! Or something like that.

Check out this cool logo thing I have now:

No, if you'll excuse me, I have champagne to drink and the further adventures of a neglected Lego pirate to consider.

Nanowrimo - Day 24

2007-11-24T20:00:00.001-05:00

I just hit 40,000 words!

Less than 10,000 words to go in just over six days. I can practically smell the finish line.

Great shirt

2007-11-20T18:27:00.000-05:00

While you read this blog post...

I'm in your base, stealing your flag!

Nanowrimo - Day 18

2007-11-18T23:11:00.000-05:00

I wrote about 900 words this morning and then was almost completely waylaid by a trip to the pub to watch the Steelers game (grr guys, way to play down to another inferior opponent like the Jets).

Anyway, I'm a little under a day behind schedule, coming in at 28,581 words:

Words: 28,581
Target: 30,006
Difference: -1,425
Words to go: 21,419

PS: I hope to have some free time in the next day or so to work on Jibidy as well.

Nanowrimo - Half way there

2007-11-17T21:06:00.000-05:00

Oh Oh - living on a prayer!

I just hit 25,000 words. Pretty exciting stuff. I still want to get about another 2,000 words written tonight, which will get me closer to being caught up with pace.

Quote of the day:
Steph: I know that typing speed does not correlate to creativity, duh.

Nanowrimo - Day 15

2007-11-16T00:01:00.000-05:00

Half way there! Well, in terms of days, if not content.

Words: 22,798
Target: 25,000
Difference: -2,202
Words to go: 27,202

Writing music:
Breaking Up - Rilo Kiley
Dakota - Stereophonics
Under Pressure - Joss Stone
Jungle Love - Morris Day and Time

Nanowrimo - Day 11

2007-11-11T20:53:00.000-05:00

Talk about a great weekend of football if your name is Dwain Smith (and mine is):

Penn State - win
Packers - win
Steelers - win

And on the other side:

Ohio State - loss
Michigan - loss
Notre Dame - loss
Florida State - loss
Miami - loss
Redskins - loss

Needless to say, writing is going more slowly than it should be:

Current word count: 15,038
Goal word count: 18,337
Difference: 3,299
Words to go: 34,962

I'm going to try and write a little more tonight, and then watch one of my netflix movies (I've had one for two weeks and two others for over a week)

Nanowrimo - Day 4

2007-11-04T22:17:00.000-05:00

I've been able to successfully plug ahead, with a lot of help from my close friend Diet Dr. Pepper.

Current word count: 7,095
Goal word count: 6,668
Difference: +427
Words to go: 42,905

A couple songs on my writing playlist right now:

Paperback Writer - The Beatles (obviously)
Edit - Regina Spektor (something I'm not doing)
Melatonin - Silversun Pickups

I'm an idiot

2007-11-03T01:13:00.001-04:00

For the last two days I've been using the wrong word count for nanonwrimo. Somewhere along the line I turned 50k words into 200k words. As I actually start writing I've noticed that the avg number of words needed to do a 200k word novel in 30 days seems like a lot. About 6700/day. But I'm not writing a 200k novel. So let me run those numbers again:

Current word count: 2,059
Goal word count: 3,334
Difference: 1,275
Words to go: 47,941

That makes me feel much better.

Day two of nanowrimo

2007-11-03T01:04:00.000-04:00

Current word count: 2,059
Goal word count: 13,400
Difference: 11,341
Words to go: 197,941

Wow. I know, only two days have gone by, but I am more than a little behind already. I have nothing planned for this weekend but writing (ok writing and watching football - but I can do both of those at the same time), so I hope to be at at least 25,000 words by Sunday night. So far, what I've written actually looks like it doesn't suck!

21 min into NaNoWriMo

2007-11-01T00:21:00.000-04:00

And I'm already behind! Word count: 0 (count em!) words.

Just over a day until NaNoWriMo!

2007-10-30T22:53:00.000-04:00

That's National Novel Writing Month for the uninformed. I'm going to attempt to write a novel from scratch (scratch as in I don't even have a topic yet) in the month of November. I'll be giving updates of my progress here, and while I hope to keep posting Jibidys over the next month, don't be surprised if there are some delays.

Two more Jibidys

2007-10-27T16:37:00.001-04:00

Could this be the end of Howard the Android?

Jibidy 84
Jibidy 85

Posting this solely for Matt

2007-10-26T13:40:00.000-04:00

Predalien:

http://www.usatoday.com/life/movies/news/2007-10-25-aliens-predator_N.htm

Some random thoughts as I watch the Steelers game

2007-10-21T22:59:00.000-04:00

--We've got about a million years to pass; I have no idea how we are down by 7 points (6 min to go in the 4th)
--Clive Barker's Nightbreed is worth renting just to watch the theatrical trailer. "This time, they're the good guys!"
--The much touted Heather Graham/Bridget Moynihan kiss is NOT a good enough reason to rent Gray Matters.
--Why isn't mac and cheese served more often as a deep fried entree on a stick?

I felt so guilty I posted a new Jibidy

2007-10-21T21:02:00.000-04:00

It's been hard for me to finish this next issue, because I've known this moment had to come since I plotted out Jibidy's return (circa issue 50).

Jibidy issue 83 - "Where we're going, we don't need roads"

In space!

2007-10-21T19:14:00.000-04:00

I know that I've been slacking. This should make up for it:

Also: Ennui

Yo ho - ow!

2007-09-30T20:21:00.000-04:00

While Howard and Billy try to defuse the cross-time thingamajig, let's not forget that the Consultant (none other than Tommy, the old stock boy at Sketchy Shoes!) is ready to skewer Jibidy's crew if he doesn't hand over the artifact:

Captain Jibidy 82

Newsflash! Chuck and Reaper are the same show.

2007-09-26T18:50:00.000-04:00

Are you interested in a genre show about a classic underachiever turned hero? NBC and the CW hope you are. I have now seen the first eps of both Chuck and Reaper and they really are basically the same show. I kind of liked both, didn't love either. Which do I watch? I don't have room in my busy tv schedule, so I figured I'd throw them head-to-head as see what happens.

Main character:

Chuck: This guy reminds me way to much of Jimmy Fallon. I don't like Jimmy Fallon. At least this Zachary Levi guy can finish a scene without cracking up.
Reaper: Hey! It's that Guy from the Loop! I kinda liked that show. What's Sarah Mason doing these days?

Edge: Reaper

Genre convention/pitch:

Chuck: Remember Marshall from Alias? Let's make him less smart, put him a big box store, and team him with a hot chick and have them fight terrorists together.
Reaper: Remember Xander from Buffy? Lose the slayer and make him save demons by himself (while working in a big box store).

Demons > Terrorists. Plus a ghostbusters-like device (this week it was a dirt devil) to take down demons is much cooler than lots of flashy pictures edited together quickly.
Edge: Reaper

Big Box Store:

Chuck: Our hero is a member of the Nerd Herd at a Best Buy-clone.
Reaper: The Work Bench - which I thought was like Home Depot (and the CW describes as a home improvement store) but I thought I saw a big enough variety of stuff (TV's, first aid stuff, fire extinguishers) that you'd almost have to go to Target or Walmart to find together. Get your bland store identity together CW!

Edge: Chuck

Female Lead:

Chuck: Yvonne Strzechowski may be the hottest person on TV right now. Plus, Sarah Lancaster is great as Chuck's sis.
Reaper: Isn't that the girl from Stick It? Oh yeah, and Heroes. I definitely recognized her from Heroes, not a movie about gymnasts.

Edge: Chuck

Abrasive Sidekick:

Chuck: Like Seth Green, but less funny
Reaper: Like Kevin Smith, but on network TV

Edge: Reaper

Antagonist:

Chuck: Adam Baldwin as a take-no-prisoners NSA assassin. Jayne from Firefly, but all dressed up and licensed by the government to kick ass.
Reaper: I didn't think anything could top Adam Baldwin, but Ray Wise as the friendly, chicken-fried steak lovin' devil? We'll call it a draw.

Edge: Tie

Other Stuff:

Chuck: From the OC guy. Boo. But on a real network (NBC) that hopes it will feed of of Heroes' popularity.
Reaper: From Kevin Smith. Yay! But on the network (CW) that canceled Veronica Mars (Bastards).

Edge: Chuck

Hmmm. 3-3 eh? I guess I'll have to check out the seocnd episodes of each show and return to this dilemma next week.

Real Donkey Kong looks like a lot of fun.

2007-09-24T23:21:00.000-04:00

This looks amazing.

Arrrrr! And other piratical stuff!

2007-09-19T20:47:00.000-04:00

Ruth: By the way, was that a definite no back there?
Frederic: Ruth, I don't want to hurt your feelings, but tell me honestly. Now, compared to other women, are you beautiful?
Ruth: Oh, I've been told so.
Frederic: Ah, but lately?
Ruth: Yes, by Sam. 'Course, he was drunk.

Happy TLAPD! That's Talk Like A Pirate for you heathens. Have I been doing anything piratical? I did hang a pirate flag in my office. And had several rum drinks after work. And watched the pirate movie this evening. I have a little crush on Kristy MacNichol now. Despite her mullet.

In honor of the day (and because it is that time of the week) I've posted a new Jibidy:

Captain Jibidy Issue 81.

The Pirate King: It's a beach party and I'm Frankie Avalon.
Bosn'n: And I'm Annette Funicello.

The Dragon has passed

2007-09-18T19:21:00.000-04:00

"The Wheel of Time turns, and Ages come and pass, leaving memories that become legend. Legend fades to myth, and even myth is long forgotten when the Age that gave it birth comes again. In one Age, called the Third Age by some, an Age yet to come, an Age long past, a wind rose.... The wind was not the beginning. There are neither beginnings nor endings to the turning of the Wheel of time."

But it was an end.

I'm sure I'm only one of thousands who are posting that this week, as we all mourn the death of Robert Jordan. In an industry where world-building is a mark of your craft, Jordan created a world more real and vibrant than any other I've ever seen. His stories were complicated to the point of infuriating - but he was a major creative force that inspired me to start writing fantasy. I was lucky enough to meet him a few years ago, and he was probably the only author to ever have to give a pronunciation lesson at a book signing. Hopefully someday we'll know what your endgame was for Rand, Perrin, and Mat. Until then, thanks.

Who is the consultant?

2007-09-12T21:36:00.000-04:00

Find out here:

Captain Jibidy Issue 80!

Pirates > Robots

2007-09-09T19:11:00.000-04:00

Jibidy just went head to head with a giant killer robot lab assistant. Pete, Lou and the crew broke out of their viking prison. And the consultant looms ever closer:

Captain Jibidy 79

My 500th post!

2007-09-05T21:14:00.001-04:00

I'll have a new issue of Jibidy up on Friday, but in the meantime, enjoy this hint of things to come:

Wordiest. Jibidy. Ever.

2007-09-04T22:35:00.000-04:00

There's a lot going on here, but after a month off I figured that I should get the plot (plot?) moving.

For those who don't remember:

Howard and Jake managed to get into the fortress where Jibidy is being held. And by get in, I mean they were captured by the vikings that seem to populate the castle.
Scared of the sadistic Consultant (he just showed up, btw), the mad scientist set Jibidy loose in return for help with an escape plan.
The heretofore innocuous lab assistant didn't much like that and has morphed into a massive killer mech. He plans on blowing Jibidy to smithereens.

Jibidy 78! - Lots of Loud Explosions!

Holy Cow! Where did I go for a month?

2007-09-02T10:58:00.000-04:00

Yeah, I know it's been over a month since I last added my ruminations to this digital repository. What have I been doing? Well, I'll tell you.

I spent a week in lovely Bethany Beach DE, mostly being terrorized by my future nieces.
Been busy at work - went sailing during our national sales meeting. Someone was dumb enough to let me steer:
I've caught a couple good films, notably Superbad. I've also got a new obsession with the Bollywood blockbuster Dhoom 2. Check it out if you haven't seen it yet.
Last weekend was the 5th annual Smith Pirate Party! The event was another big hit, with all kinds of piratical behavior going on:

Incidentally, if anyone is interested in the shirt above, you can buy it here.
It's football season again! Penn State got off to a great start (I know, I know, it was FIU). Michigan is already out of the title hunt with a loss to App State, and Notre Dame's loss to GT yesterday gives me a bit of confidence about the big ND/PSU rematch next week. Still haven't decided what to do about it yet.
I'm working on the next batch of Jibidys - so hopefully they will be live soon.
Happy Labor Day!

Transformer Noises!

2007-07-29T21:27:00.000-04:00

I tried to onomatopoeia the sound but it just came out cheechoochoochachee:

Captain Jibidy Issue 77

He can stay and guard the base!

2007-07-26T16:50:00.000-04:00

Of all the Autobots to survive...

Maybe the best Youtube videos ever:

More Jibidy

2007-07-22T12:17:00.001-04:00

This time with real Jibidy (and maybe some Spongebob):

Captain Jibidy 76

A bunch of random cool stuff

2007-07-16T21:12:00.001-04:00

Here's a roundup of a few links over the past couple weeks that you may not have seen yet:

www.Zudacomics.com - DC's newest foray into webcomics. Not sure if Jibidy could work with something like this.

www.someecomics.com - a great online greeting card website. For when you really want to tell someone that they aren't too good for online dating or it's been too long since we threw up on each other.

Some really great fake magazine covers: Pirate Life! Thomas Today Buddha Monthly

A Moment on Earth Mosaic - really neat photomosaic - Mom sent this to me today.

Mentos Intern - certainly an interesting summer job.

More Jib-jib-Jibidy

2007-07-15T13:16:00.001-04:00

How are our heroes going to get out of this one?

Captain Jibidy 75

Robots blowing stuff up!

2007-07-10T21:20:00.000-04:00

My updated movie list (a note: I retired Pan's Labyrinth, as a friend mentioned it was theoretically a 2006 movie - I just happened to see it Jan 2 or something. This will allow for some action/movement at the top of the list)

Hot Fuzz (new #1!)
Pirates III (new to list)
Transformers (new to list)
300
Grindhouse
Knocked Up (new to list)
Live Free or Die Hard (new to list)
Black Snake Moan
The Host
Spider-Man 3
Zodiac
Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Guy (new to list)
Shrek 3
Ghost Rider (sadly still at the bottom)

Still on the list to see this summer: Harry Potter 5, Ocean's 13, Bourne Supremacy, Stardust, Superbad

Happy 7.7.7! Your present? A new Jibidy

2007-07-07T17:45:00.000-04:00

I wonder how the plan with the Trojan Penguin is going:

Captain Jibidy 74

New Jibidy

2007-06-28T21:12:00.000-04:00

Sorry for the long delay between issues - but here is the next chapter of the epic "Rescue of Jibidy":

Jibidy Issue 73

The TV Season: A Report Card

2007-06-20T21:18:00.000-04:00

New Shows (either to tv or just me):

Heroes - I waited and waited for this show to be the show I wanted it to be all season long as it built toward a monumental end that I just didn't find at all monumental. I really hope it relies less on its serialized nature and focus on telling good stories in the world it has built next season. C+
Studio 60 - this was the little show that couldn't. I think it got better and better as almost every episode passed and Sorkin's preaching really played well with me (as it didn't in West Wing), but it was never able to create and maintain the kind of momentum it needed to survive. B+
Veronica Mars - this was new to me. I watched seasons 1 and 2 over the summer and got hooked. It's bittersweet to start watching a show that I think was probably doomed from the start of the season. At the very least, it got me hooked on my number 1 crush, Kristen Bell. A-

Returning Faves:

24 - Where do you go after detonating a nuclear bomb during the season premiere? The writers of 24 struggled to answer that question over and over and at one point even rebooted the series with a lame Chinese subplot. Powers Boothe as VP Daniels sweated intensity and was maybe the real reason I kept watching. C-
Grey's Anatomy - I really liked a lot about this season. There were a couple things I didn't (George/Izzie for example) but I still really enjoy the interplay of these immensely fragile and imperfect characters. I thought the season finale was particularly great. B
Lost -Best show on tv, bar none. The show started slowly but really picked up pace and never let up. I can't say enough good things about it. A
Prison Break- I didn't know how this show would reinvent itself outside of the walls of Fox River (I mean, what show needs to reinvent itself in year 2?) But William Fichtner made this over the top thrill ride beat 24 at its own game. B
Sopranos - say what you want about the now infamous series finale, Sopranos managed to do in its last season what it did during its entire run - keep people talking. Was it disjointed? Yes? Gimmicky? Yes. But it continued to capture the human psyche better than anything else on tv. B-

Others:
Dancing With the Stars - My guilty pleasure gets better and better with each season!
Blade the Series - I still miss this. When will it come out on DVD?
Entourage - Still loving it.
Scrubs - Completely tired of it. I think syndication killed this show for me.

Busy Beaver

2007-06-13T21:37:00.000-04:00

Sorry for the lack of updates - it's been raining a lot. Yeah, that's my excuse. Seriously - I had no plans last night and tonight but to write by the pool and both nights I've gotten caught in the rain. We even lost power tonight!

Went up to the mountains last weekend for a father-son fishing weekend. I fished for about 5 minutes and managed to catch a rock. Lot of fun though - nice to hang with the fam, eat food cooked over the fire and play a lot of cards and as always with my cousins, an unorthodox game of Risk. I also saw a really ugly amish baby and a sign that said "Mini Donkey 4 Sale" I wanted to stop and see just how mini it was. I guess like this. Beware the bad midi music.

Saw this crazy picture of a house with a tunnel through it today. More pics there.

Been really into the Danish band called the Breakers. You might have heard their song"Tried So Hard". And if you haven't yet, check out the Amy Whinehouse/Ghostface Killah version of "I'm No Good".

Sopranos finally ended and most people either think the finally was brilliant or stupid. I udnerstand why Chase did what he did (and it does work as a finale), but I still think of it as a betrayal to the fans who've followed this show despite massive delays for close to ten years. You're on notice Lindelof/Cuse! Now that the tv season is officially over, look for my tv season report card here soon.

Not new but still funny: Washington, Washington

If you don't have anything to do tomorrow at 6PM be sure to check out the last night of Tiny Ninja Theater at the Kennedy Center's Millenium Stage. It's a free (and hilarious) take on Romeo and Juliet

Trojan what?

2007-06-02T16:15:00.000-04:00

Jibidy Issue 72

The rescuers are en route!

2007-05-25T17:47:00.000-04:00

But will they find Jibidy before it's too late?

Jibidy 71!

In related news - be Captain Jibidy's friend on Myspace:

http://www.myspace.com/capnjibidy

Summer movie madness!

2007-05-20T10:57:00.000-04:00

I know, we're like two-three weeks into the summer movie season, but it's not too late for me to let you know what you need to see, and what movies should cause you to run fleeing from the cineplex.

Let's start with the already outs:

Spider-Man 3: I loved a lot about this movie. Was it too melodramatic? Yeah. Was there way to much shoved into it? Absolutely. But I think most of it was necessary - and I think it ultimately works - maybe more than it should
Shrek 3: Saw this last night. I think it might be better than 2 - slightly less pop culture references and a little more straight comedy. Once again, the supporting cast shines (Gingerbread Man's life flashing before his eyes might be the best scene of the series so far). Another at least worth watching.

Let's see how they compare to everything else I've seen this year:

Pan's Labyrinth
Hot Fuzz
Grindhouse
300
Black Snake Moan
The Host
Spider-Man 3
Zodiac
Shrek 3
Ghost Rider

Now onto the must sees for the summer:

Pirates 3: surprise! I'm telling you to go see a pirate movie. No explanation needed, thinks this landlocked scalawag. (this friday!)
Knocked Up: According to friend's who've already seen it, it's like Nine Months, but funny. (June 1)
Transformers: These will not be the Autobots and the Decepticons of your childhood, but Michael "boom boom" Bay sure knows how to blow stuff up, and that will work to his advantage for once. (July 4)
Fantastic Four 2: It'll be better than the original, I promise. Plus the villain is a big purple cloud! (June 15)
Harry Potter and the something of the something: Unlike the rest of the nerd world, I have no idea what's going to happen in this movie. (July 13)
Stardust: Matthew Vaughn (Layer Cake) directs this Neil Gaiman story. And DeNiro's a pirate. (Aug 10)
Superbad: My prediction for comedy fo the summer. Starring Michael Cera! (George Michael from Arrested Development (Aug 17)

Probably sees:

Oceans 13: Loved the first, hated the second. Maybe Clooney and co. can get there groove back. (June 8)
Live Free or Die Hard: Bruce Willis must save New Hampshire in this pg-13 outing. That probably means no "yippie kay yay" for you. (June 27)
Ratatouille: the new Pixar outing, from the creator of the Incredibles. (June 29)
Bourne Ultimatum: Opposite of Oceans, I hated the first but loved the second. Hopefully the third is even better. (Aug 3)

Run!

I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry: Don't be fooled by the trailer! Jessica Biel in her underwear is not worth suffering through Adam Sandler and Kevin James pretending to be a gay couple. (July 20)
The Simpsons: Remember when they were relevant? (July 27)
Rush Hour 3: Vinnie Jones joins the cast. Will he say 'I'm the Juggernaut bitch?' If so, I'm in. (Aug 10)
Good Luck Chuck: Dane Cook tries not to have sex with Jessica Alba. What you saw the trailer and it looked pretty funny? Sigh. Yeah, me to. I'll probably go. But no Chuck and Larry! (Aug 24)
Others: Hostel 2, DOA: Dead or Alive, Nancy Drew, License to Wed, I'm sure there are plenty others.

You should be able to see trailers for any of these at: http://www.apple.com/trailers/

What every mother would want on her special day!

2007-05-12T21:50:00.000-04:00

This week in Jibidy we see what Bob and Marlo have been up to (the answer - not much):

Captain Jibidy 70

Happy Mother's Day!

A trifecta of Jibidys

2007-05-06T19:10:00.000-04:00

In honor of Spidey 3, and because I found no easy way to make them stand-alone issues, I present three new installments of everyone's favorite Lego pirate:

Captain Jibidy 67
Captain Jibidy 68
Captain Jibidy 69

Be forewarned - there's a body count! (Of well, one, at least)

Spidey Sense Tingling

2007-05-06T11:59:00.000-04:00

In anticipation of seeing Spidey 3 today, here's the current ranking of movies for the year:

1. Pan's Labyrinth
2. Hot Fuzz
3. Grindhouse
4. 300
5. Black Snake Moan
6. The Host
7. Zodiac
8. Ghost Rider

That's where they went!

2007-04-29T23:03:00.000-04:00

With all these new additions to the cast, who could forget the original crew?

Jibidy Issue 66

My day in weblinks

2007-04-28T23:12:00.000-04:00

Lunch at California Tortilla: http://californiatortilla.com
-I had a free salad coupon!

NFL Draft on ESPN: http://espn.go.com/
-The Steelers will sack Brady Quinn many times in the future.

Putt Putt @ Upton Hill: http://www.nvrpa.org/uptonhill.html
-Four holes-in-one and still +4 for the day? That's a shame.

Margaritas and dinner w/Erin @ Mango Mike's: http://www.mangomikes.com/Pages/m2pg.html
-I need to figure out how to make black bean hummus.

Evening art viewing @Artomatic: http://www.artomatic.org/
-two really cool artists to check out: Chris Bishop (http://www.chrisbishop.com/) and Steve Strawn (www.splutphoto.com)

Relaxing with some St. George Beer: http://www.stgeorgebrewingco.com/

All in all, not a bad day.

New Jibidy sometime this week

2007-04-23T22:11:00.000-04:00

In the meantime, here's a cute picture of me as a little kid:

Who, or what, is Billy Fang?

2007-04-15T19:42:00.000-04:00

I had some server issues earlier, but everything is back and humming along - so here are two more issues:

Jibidy 64
Jibidy 65

One more piece to the puzzle

2007-04-09T21:28:00.000-04:00

Captain Jibidy - Issue 63

He is Risen

2007-04-08T22:46:00.000-04:00

I went out of town for a few days to see the family - new Jibidy should be up by tomorrow night.